Tale of the Tape:
Maria Sharapova (RUS) vs. Anna Kournikova (RUS)
Wimbledon champ stunned Serena Williams to take the
title at the All England Club, but was it enough to
put the Anna comparisons behind her? Apparently not:
While apparently over the hill in tennis,
the 23-year-old Kournikova is ready, willing and legal,
though Enrique Iglesias says hands off. Sharapova looks
the part of a six-foot supermodel, but the 17-year-old
will get you nothing except a stint in the slammer.
Maria beat two-time defending champ
Serena for the Wimbledon title with her career still
blossoming. Anna reached the SF in her first Wimbledon
appearance, then plummeted downhill after opting to
play doubles with half the NHL All-Star team, and she
still has no titles.
Aside from her orgasmic-like grunts,
the squeaky-clean teen Sharapova is all business, though
can't help looking Vogue-ready in a dress and heels.
On the other side of the coin, there's not enough space
here, or enough megs on this site, to list Anna's escapades
-- look for the coming supplemental.
Maria "tee-hee"d her way through
Wimbledon, while Anna knew the score from the start,
once saying "I'm like an expensive menu...you can
look but you can't afford."
While a chronic bad back keeps Anna
from little exercise that is not horizontal, Maria is
injury-free and closing in on the Top 5, and has already
equaled Anna's career-high No. 8 ranking.
A near pick 'em with the nod to the
new Russian. Sharapova with her runway looks was the
top search on Yahoo! following Wimbledon, but Anna was
no slouch back in the day. Sample shots to the press:
"I worked very hard and I earned all the attention
I'm getting It's that I have a good personality
and am a good tennis player It's true I always
try to be as seductive as possible but I wouldn't be
here if I couldn't play tennis Like any young person,
I do what I want."
How many of the "lad" magazines
would have gone under were it not for the scantily-clad
Lolita, who still has it at the ripe old age of 23?
Tough call though, with the leggy Maria not needing
to try real hard.
Anna is playing World Team Tennis this
summer, testing out the back and saying a comeback is
not out of the question. For Sharapova, the sky is the
limit, and other clichés. Unfortunately was Anna
to return at her very best she still wouldn't be
winning tournaments or coming close to beating Maria.
Sharapova's love interests have been kept tightly under
wraps, while Anna's parading around wearing a $5 million
dollar ring alledgedly given to her by Enrique Iglesias.
signed with Anna's old firm, IMG, since they wrote the
book on how to market a Russian bombshell. Anna's now
represented by the Crazy Eights at Octagon, who have worked
their PR magic on players like Lleyton Hewitt and Mark
Again, Sharapova too new and too squeaky
clean, while the been-around-the-block Kournikova has
survived a number of encounters, most notably with Mark
Philippoussis, who when asked about their relationship
laughingly replied (on camera), "I was just <expletive
deleted> her mate!"
squeaks this one out, leaving Maria to ponder her future
-- of probably not wanting to win this competition,