TENNIS QUOTES :: A few interesting and funny tennis quotes from the tour

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"I think the tour should come up with something where they don't let players over 6-foot-6 inches play."
-- Tommy Haas joking after losing to big-serving American rookie John Isner at Washington.

"I would so like to be Lenny Kravitz."
-- Roger Federer.

"I'm not a fan of it. I hate it, but I may as well utilize it. I think it takes away from the integrity of tennis."
-- Serena Williams on the WTA Tour's on-court coaching experiment.

"Sometimes, actually, I see myself a little bit in him sometimes, you know, talking to his coach, you know, yelling a couple of negative words towards the box, which it's good to see I'm not the only one."
-- Tommy Haas on rising star Andy Murray.

"You would have to refer to the LL Cool J song called "Round The Way Girl," and he explains it in full detail, the meaning of the earrings. These are bamboo. He explains it in full detail. I'm a 'Round The Way Girl."
-- Serena Williams on her earring worn in Miami.

"I would honestly rather lose to the same guy twice than lose to two different guys. I think if I lost to two different players I would think I wasn't playing well, but with one guy I can think 'OK, this guy is on a roll'. It's just easier to digest."
-- Roger Federer on his losses to Guillermo Canas this year at Indian Wells and Miami.

"For me it's something that doesn't quite fit into the schedule. It's going to be real tough to go from Houston all the way over to Monte Carlo, then come back just for a week or two to train for Rome. For the Americans, that tournament has never been exactly the easiest one in the schedule. I'm not going to be able to make it to that one."
-- James Blake on skipping the Masters Series Monte Carlo.

"I wore that to a sixth-grade dance."
-- Robby Ginepri on Vince Spadea's outfit in Miami.

"My player box is going to be full of celebrities, too; my dad, this guy Jose Hidalgo, his guest, my buddy from SC [University of Southern California]. That's about it. I'll probably get an autograph from Tiger in between sets. I'll bring a golf ball with me."
-- Sam Querrey on Tiger Woods sitting in Roger Federer's box for their match in Miami.

"I might have had a little fun last night and then I woke up. I'd like to thank Mr. Grey Goose. I won't do that again, but I thought I had zero shot of getting in."
-- Robert Kendrick on unexpectedly getting into Miami as a lucky loser and winning a round before losing handily to Andy Murray.

"He hasn't even started to use a lot of his game."
-- Coach Tony Roche on protege Roger Federer.

"This is probably my most dominant grand slam victory and it's already my 10th in such a short period of time. I amazed myself."
-- Roger Federer on his Australian Open win.

"I saw Andy in the locker room, running around playing cards and he was loose. If you don't get on Federer early, it's trouble because no one comes back on him. Once he starts hitting those sweet shots, he took a little belief out of Andy. I saw Andy's face and I said 'Oh s***.'"
-- Bob Bryan on Andy Roddick's dismantling at the hands of Roger Federer at the Australian Open.

"Yeah, there's a lot of strategy talk. It's not so much like, If you're down 6-4, 6-0, 2-0. We didn't really talk about that. Oops."
-- Andy Roddick on his strategy with coach Jimmy Connors after losing to Roger Federer in the Australian Open semifinals.

"I don't want to be like some of those celebrities walking around, just so full of themselves. I always want to be down-to-earth, want to be a person like when you meet them, they're the same person that you think of them in the article or something."
-- Serena Williams.

"That's what you do all the hard work for, to play in situations that put your body through gruelling times. If you're not up to it, pull out."
-- Lleyton Hewitt on the grueling heat at the Aussie Open.

"It [playing Wimbledon] has crossed my mind -- I won't lie to you. Nothing against Nadal who is a tremendous athlete, but that sort of [baseline] game, I'd be licking my chops to come in [to net] and use that grass to your advantage."
-- Pete Sampras talking to ESPN.

"I don't really know any other players extra well."
-- Venus Williams on having no friends on tour besides sister Serena.

"You can't expect yourself to be already peaking like crazy in an exhibition tournament."
-- Roger Federer on losing to Andy Roddick in the Kooyong Classic final.

"Amazingly, [Martina] Hingis went so far as to say, "Dinara [Safina] has an amazing future, and will be even better than Marat [Safin]; Dinara has to work harder and doesn't have as much touch, but she fights so hard." Oh sure, and Radek Stepanek is going to be better than Ivan Lendl, too."
-- Matt Cronin of Tennisreporters.net.

"I listen to him most of the time, some of the time I switch off."
-- Andy Murray on coach Brad Gilbert.

"Venus and I would really like to thank the jury again because they really were able to see the truth in this matter."
-- Venus Williams after her father Richard Williams was found guilty of representing them as a manager or a multi-million dollar exhibition but did not have to pay any financial restitution.

"This trophy is one of the most beautiful we have in tennis -- The Golden Falcon. I wanted it so bad. Andy was a very good opponent. He fought hard and didn't miss many balls. But I was patient. I knew I had to be aggressive but not too aggressive. Against someone like Andy you need to find the perfect balance, because if you go to the net too much, he will pass you. And if you stay at the baseline, he's too solid. So the combination was the key today."
-- Ivan Ljubicic after beating Andy Murray in the Doha final.

"I'm not sure it will help. I already tried it and it's really confusing. I'm there thinking and worrying, 'Should I call my coach for help or not?' I need to play a couple of tournaments like this."
-- Svetlana Kuznetsova on the WTA's on-court coaching experiment.

"As I was walking off the court, the models were waiting to go on for Ferrero's match. It's a little disappointing. Maybe I'm concentrating better in my matches than I would have later on. Tomorrow I think I'm playing on the outside court, so I'm not going to have them again. I think if I win my next one, there's a good chance that I'll be on the court with them."
-- Andy Murray on the models-as-ball-girls in Madrid.

"He has a more complete game than Sampras. Sampras had a bigger first and second serve. In the conditions Pete was playing, it was easier to be more aggressive all the time. Now with the courts and the balls much slower, Roger is so effective because he has so many attributes to his game."
-- Tim Henman on Roger Federer.

"No one is friends with Hewitt and he does not worry me at all."
-- David Nalbandian on Lleyton Hewitt and the Argentina vs. Australia Davis Cup tie.

"Hewitt seems to think that he's come to Iraq. But we're not bothered because this is the circus that he wanted to set up. Nothing's going to happen and we shouldn't pay any attention to it."
-- Jose Acasuso on Lleyton Hewitt coming to Argentina for the Davis Cup semifinals.

"He told me he got pelted with coins and the umpire had to stop the match at one stage. We are expecting the worst and if that doesn't happen, well, that's a bonus."
-- Wayne Arthurs speaking to SMH.com on Dominik Hrbaty reminiscing on the Slovak Republic's Davis Cup victory over Argentina in Buenos Aires in 1998 in the fifth rubber. Australia will travel to Argentina for the 2006 semifinals.

"I just won a Grand Slam. The last thing I'm going to talk about is some fingers or a banana, alright? I hope you got that one, thanks."
-- The cheating Maria Sharapova when asked about being coached with signals from the stands by Michael Joyce during the US Open final.

"Better not say anything about that because if I do, I know I'm gonna get slighted. I'm really disappointed there's not more English people in it (laughter)."
-- Andy Murray speaking to the media at the US Open on three Scottish players being named to the British Davis Cup team.

"I feel like I'm helping out Andy, because Andy has dealt with it on his own for a while now. I'm proud to be helping him. I'm proud that we're doing this together. We're both in the quarters now. He's playing great tennis again. I'm really happy to see that. He played unbelievable in Cincinnati. I thought he played great in Indianapolis.And I had to play possibly my best match ever to beat him in the finals. I'm happy to see him doing great.  We're both playing pretty darn well going into Moscow. I'm looking forward to us teaming up together instead of playing against each other."
-- James Blake on being in the Top 10 with Andy Roddick at the US Open, leading up to the Davis Cup semifinal at Russia.

"Those are real hard fans. There are a lot of them here. Some are a little bit crazy with their drinking their beers every once in a while. But I love it."
-- Maria Sharapova on the US Open fans.

"If you read it, you must have been one of the 10 books he sold."
-- James Blake on Vince Spadea's tell-all book.

"No, you know. Not at all. I don't think so. Some days."
-- Serena Williams, in a post-match conference at the US Open, after many short answers, then asked if the media questions get on her nerves.

"The players strongly support the move away from best-of-five-set finals."
-- James Blake, 0-9 in five-set matches, on the ATP's proposed changes for 2007.

"It's weird, because there are a couple of sides of me. There's the Maria that's a tennis player. There's the Maria that is a normal girl. And there's the Maria who's a businesswoman. And that's where the 'Maria Sharapova brand' comes into play. I've been lucky to be associated with amazing companies that have given me experience about all that."
-- Maria Sharapova.

"Justine (Henin-Hardenne) and Amelie (Mauresmo) are kind, they're smart, but they're also shy and not wildly outgoing. But when Venus Williams and Irina Spirlea bump each other, fans like that drama and they like that tension."
-- Anne Worcester, former WTA Tour CEO and current director of the Pilot Pen Tournament in New Haven, speaking to The New York Observer on the need for more bumping in the current sleep-inducing Top 10 on the WTA Tour rankings.

"The players aren't supporting the tour. (Amelie) Mauresmo has blown off the entire hardcourt season. Then there are injuries and phony injuries -- (Kim) Clijsters is out for two months...They don't think about growing the game; they think about growing their bank account. There's been a recession for years, but the players don't feel it. They're making more. You can't convince them that tennis is in trouble. They can't feel it; their agents can't feel it. They're living in an entirely different reality."
-- NBC and CBS tennis analyst Mary Carillo speaking to The New York Observer on women's tennis.

"No, I'm not (disappointed). There's no reason to be because I'm on an incredible run. You always expect a loss once in a while. So when it happens, why be disappointed if I win over 90% of my matches."
-- Roger Federer after tanking against Andy Murray at Cincinnati.

"I love reading your website. And I don't even like to read!"
-- The Tennis Channel's world-wanderer Murphy Jensen on Tennis-X.com.

"I think this is the biggest advantage of these two guys. When they go on the court, the opponents are down one set because they are fearful of them. (The other players) think that they are gods."
-- Tomas Berdych on Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal after beating Nadal at the MS-Canada.

"I hope guys don't go into it already beaten. That happened when Pete was around. Guys definitely in the locker room felt like, a match against Pete Sampras, it was time to book your flight for the next day."
-- James Blake on the intimidation factor against players facing Roger Federer.

"The good thing about him is that he doesn't do anything special but he wins most of his matches easily. That means that he's good.
-- Carlos Moya on Andy Murray.

"I can't say I don't like acting, but I can't imagine a career when I have to spend 70 percent of my time in a trailer eating Snickers bars."
-- Maria Sharapova on possible doing some acting.

"It's like a book. It's the first chapter. You don't know what's in the middle and you don't know what's in the end. That's what the coolest thing is. Andy has an opportunity to make an incredible book."
-- Brad Gilbert on coaching Andy Murray after coming off best-selling novels Andre Agassi and Andy Roddick.

"The Argentineans practice on the court for two hours a day, then they must practice in front of a mirror for two more hour saying 'I'm not guilty.'"
-- Vince Spadea on the Argentines on the men's tour and drug testing.

"We have undoubtedly got the talent but maybe we have not had the right attitude. We need to be more focused, more determined and more ruthless in what we want to achieve. The confidence and belief levels in British tennis at the moment are very low and we have got to raise them by surrounding ourselves with proven winners and tough task-masters on and off the court."
-- LTA tennis chief executive Roger Draper on hoping that coach Brad Gilbert can turn-around British tennis fortunes.

"They tried it on the ATP a while ago. Sometimes, when things aren't going well in the sport, they search a little bit. I don't think it's a time to panic in the men's or ladies field. It's their (the WTA Tour's) deal and if it adds a little bit then great. One thing I love about tennis is it's an individual deal. It's up to you out there and I've always thought that was pretty unique. The only other sport to have that is boxing and it can really expose you as an athlete and I like that. I like to figure it out on my own just as my opponent has to figure it out on his own, so I'm not into coaching."
-- Pete Sampras on the WTA's on-court coaching experiment.

"Throw him a bone?...I'm going to put the beat-down on him!"
-- NBC commentator Jim Courier on his upcoming exhibition with Pete Sampras.

"He's one of the few players that has ever sent me a thank-you note. He appreciates it, and that means a lot."
-- U.S. Davis Cup captain Patrick McEnroe on practice-partner team member Sam Querrey.

"A great coach can lead you to a place where you don't need him any more."
-- Andre Agassi on Brad Gilbert. But maybe you repay him by keeping him on?

"You know, I don't think anyone on the call really cares (laughter)...I'm just kidding."
-- Pete Sampras on a World TeamTennis conference call when asked to talk about something other than himself -- in this case his World TeamTennis teammates.

"Keep in mind, we didn't come close to winning the baseball, basketball or the hockey or the soccer. It's not tennis. We're not winning anything anymore. This country's dominance in sports has died in everything."
-- Former player and coach Eliot Teltscher speaking with the LA Times on the struggling U.S. sport fortunes.

"The way I look at the top five, (Rod) Laver, (Roger) Federer, myself, Borg and (Ivan) Lendl. I think those five guys dominated their generations better than anyone. Maybe Roger will dominate better than any one of the other four. Maybe I put Andre (Agassi) as kind of six through 10 with, you know, (John) McEnroe and (Jimmy) Connors, kind of those guys. That's kind of how I see it."
-- Pete Sampras.

"Look. There's many former players, many experts, who think they know everything. Sometimes they're right, but they can also be wrong. You can't always listen to them, especially as a player. From a former top player -- almost a legend of the game -- to hear stuff like this is obviously very disappointing. I thought I got along well with him; I probably still am, because he never told these things to my face. Next time I see him, maybe I'll say something. Or maybe he's not a man to be around for me. Because if you say stuff like this? There's professional and there's friendship, but if you cross the line too many times eventually you're going to lose your friends. That's maybe what he's doing."
-- Roger Federer on Mats Wilanders' comments that he had "no balls" when playing against Rafael Nadal.

"Oh, oh, first time happen in my match, so...I mean, if the crowd likes it, that's okay with me."
-- Elena Dementieva on the streaker during her match at Wimbledon.

"I wouldn't change a thing."
-- Maria Sharapova on what she would do if a player or tournament official asked her to tone down her orgasma-grunting.

"The Chinese tennis federation is concentrating more on girls' tennis to start with because it's easier. Men's tennis is very strong but there are not so many good women players in the world."
-- China's Na Li. Then the WTA PR squad heard this and went "Doh!"

"Women are held to a different standard. When those blowouts come in the early rounds, the critics come down on them. If we get a few more, the critics will jump -- especially in this year when everyone is talking about equal prize money. But that's not the point. We don't punch a clock; we don't get paid by the game or set. When you have the same job, then anything less than equality is just wrong."
-- ESPN commentator Pam Shriver on the many early blowouts on the women's side at Wimbledon and the pay-equality dispute in 2006.