Boring Wednesday at the US Open Sees Four Bargain-Basement Seeds Dismissed, Top Seeds Cruising

ATP REVIEW/PREVIEW
Only one of seven seeds in action was ousted Wednesday at the US Open, with (30)Gaudio losing to Chile's Nicolas Massu, who has come on strong since returning from injury earlier in the year. Six seeds advanced in (2)Federer (d. Acasuso, losing the first set before going up 2-1 sets then getting the retirement), (7)Moya (d. Draper, rebounding from dropping the first set), (10)Novak (d. Mario "Baby Goran" Ancic 6-2 in the fifth), (13)Nalbandian (d. Kohlschreiber), (20)Philippoussis (d. Tipsarevic, Scud looking more like a threat), and (22)El Aynaoui (d. Alex "Michael Chang Without the Software Update" Kim in three tight sets). Among the un-seeds, Jan-Mike Gambill got a rare win over Spaniard David Sanchez in straights, Rafael "The Prodigy" Nadal advanced with a straight set win over Fernando Vicente, James Blake beat Mariano Zabaleta without having to pay anyone in the crowd to cheer for him, NCAA champion Amer Delic blew a match point against Sargis Sargsian and lost in five sets, and qualifier Thomas Enqvist continued his resurgence with a pasting of Spaniard Albert "The Dropshot Dragon" Portas. Delic needs to buy a closing cartridge for his PlayStation after blowing match points a few weeks back against Srichaphan in Indianapolis. Gambill was pleased with his lone strategy of hitting the ball hard. "First set, there was a little bit of jitters," said the former top American who never really recovered after shoulder problems. "I haven't had a real good summer, haven't had a lot of good matches, unfortunately. I wanted to go out there, and number one, play the way I've always played my best tennis, that's hitting the ball hard and getting the first strike against the guy. That's what I was trying to do." It was a bad day for the Spaniards, who posted a 1-4 record.

Seeds on court Thursday are (16)Martin "2-6 since the French" Verkerk vs. T.Martin, (1)Agassi vs. Vinciguerra, (6)Hewitt vs. H.-T. Lee, (24)Fish vs. Kucera in a possible preview of next month's U.S. vs. Slovakia Davis Cup match, (23)Ferreira vs. Ginepri, (11)Srichaphan vs. Hrbaty, (3)Ferrero vs. Jurgen "Tuna" Melzer, (31)Clement vs. Carraz, (15)Gonzalez vs. Koubek, (28)Kafelnikov vs. Carlsen, and (5)Coria vs. Bohdan "Out-Of-Court Settlement" Ulihrach. In doubles, (2)Bryan/Bryan face Gambill/Parrott in an all-American match-up.

WTA REVIEW/PREVIEW
The top seeds cruised, the mid-level seeds struggled, and three inconsequential seeds were dismissed on the women's side Wednesday at the US Open, with those packing their bags including the aged Wimbledon champion (12)Martinez (l. to the Aussie upstart Molik), (18)Patty "Wack Job" Schnyder (l. to Tanasugarn), and (28)Raymond (blew a set and break lead against Czink, then folded 6-1 in the third). Nine seeds advanced, with only two struggling in (13)Zvonareva (d. Ashley "Losing Like Anna" Harkleroad 6-1 in the third), and (14)Coetzer (d. Barbara "Don't Give a" Schett 6-2 in the third). Lots of blowouts. "You know, I'm feeling like more and more competitive out there," said Mauresmo after winning easily. "So that's the most important, yeah. No more problems with the back or whatever." Wish we could take a nap until the quarterfinals.

Seeds on court Thursday are (22)Dokic vs. Pierce in the all-wacky first match on Arthur Ashe Stadium, (2)Henin-Hardenne vs. Talaja, (6)Capriati vs. Sucha, (11)Dementieva vs. Perebiynis, (7)Myskina vs. Serra Zanetti, (15)Sugiyama vs. Razzano, (23)Dechy vs. Amy "Down Goes" Frazier, (30)Serna vs. Sanchez Lorenzo, (33)Srebotnik vs. Pisnik in an all-Slovak, all "nik" battle, (20)Farina Elia vs. Pratt, (32)Mikaelian vs. Obata, and (29)Schiavone vs. Parra.

2003 TOP 10 US OPEN MISSING STAR POWER
1. Pete Sampras -- Defending champion finally pulls the trigger on retirement.
2. Serena Williams -- Defending champion physically out with surgery, mentally out pursuing acting career.
3. Venus Williams -- Former champion still out with slow-healing abdominal muscle tear.
4. Marat Safin -- Former champion still out with wrist injury, for some reason refuses to have surgery.
5. Monica Seles -- Foot injury that won't heal could mean retirement for former Open winner and No. 1.
6. Anna Kournikova -- Former tour punching bag out with bad back, could be forced to retire at 21.
7. Michael Chang -- Missing after the first round, ending his painful "Farewell Tour."
8. Greg Rusedski -- Brit bombs out first round to unknown Gregory Carraz, then the former US Open runner-up complains that he doesn't like hardcourts.
9. Tim Henman -- A bad draw sees Timbledon out in the first round to No. 4 seed Andy Roddick, hitting serves that makes one question whether his shoulder injury is really healed.
10. Guillermo Canas -- Argentine claycourt (and hardcourt) whiz pulled from the draw, wrist injury still not healed.

WILLIAMS SISTERS LETTERMAN TOP 10
Venus and Serena Williams, both out of the US Open because of injuries, gave the Top 10 reasons for their absence on "The Late Show with David Letterman" on Wednesday:
10. Venus: "Due to the bad economy, this year's winner only gets thirty bucks."
9. Serena: "Last year, a dozen players were carried off by giant West Nile mosquitoes."
8. Venus: "We can't give you any details, but we're very close to catching Saddam."
7. Serena: "You can only hit a ball over the net so many times without getting bored silly."
6. Venus: "I heard the Jets need a quarterback."
5. Serena: "We're spending our time in the lab developing a third, even more powerful Williams sister."
4. Venus: "What? The US Open is this week?"
3. Serena: "Can't concentrate on game with Mars so close to Earth."
2. Venus: "For once, we thought we'd give the other players a chance."
1. Venus and Serena: "Surprise! We're running for governor of California."

NEWS, NOTES, QUOTES, AND BARBS
Jelena Dokic says she is still thinking about skipping the 2004 Australian Open -- way to get in with the "homecountry" fans...Paradorn Srichaphan is sick with a sore throat and congestion, not a good look going into the second round...American comer Angela Haynes doesn't win matches at the tour level, but that doesn't stop her from talking like a Top 5 player: "I can do everything, really, you know. I like the power game but, you know, if somebody wants to hit me a lot of slices, I could slice back. I could serve and volley. I could do all of that, so..." So, try and get some wins...Tim Henman's indoor schedule after the Open (what, did you expect him to hit the South American dirt swing?) will include Vienna, the TMS-Madrid, Basel, the TMS-Paris, then home for the holidays...Sorry black and silver fans, Andy Roddick says there's "not a chance" Brad Gilbert will convert him into a Raider's fan...Andy Roddick says skydiving with coach Brad Gilbert was one of the highlights of the summer: "I think the most gratifying part was seeing him vomit after. We got in the car, were leaving, about three blocks. Without getting too -- oh, I'll get graphic. He's in someone's front yard, someplace in New Jersey. The only people who called were Andre and his wife to see how he was doing. I said, 'You don't want to know.'"...Chunky JenCap likes her chances now that her game has come back on-line in the last few weeks: "It's amazing how things turn around in my game when I'm feeling physically and mentally good. I'm almost playing better now than then (in 2001 and 2002 when she won slam titles)."...Moscow was selected Wednesday to host the semifinals and finals of the Fed Cup...Moscow beat a Belgian bid to hold the Fed Cup finals which start Nov. 17, with the United States squaring off against Belgium, and Russia facing France...According to Charlie Bricker of the Sun-Sentinel, U.S. Davis Cup captain Patrick McEnroe doesn't believe in settling singles spots using play-offs, and he'll make his decision for the No. 2 singles spot between James Blake and Mardy Fish based on play at the Open...Maria "Grunt-o-licious" Sharapova takes high school classes over the Internet. What's a In-ter-net?...Can we please stop the media's "Is the women's title tainted?" crap with the Williams sisters out? Who gives a rat? We've never seen an asterisk next to a slam title winner's name in the record books saying "So-and-so wasn't there that year." Drop it already...Props to USA Network commentator John McEnroe for saying players need to suck it up a little before retiring so quickly, you shouldn't be able to retire unless your legs no longer work, or you're face-planted on the court after a serve like Alex Bogomolov...What if Michael Chang said "Ow, I have cramps" and retired at the French in 1989? Some of these players need to reach down and find their nuts...What's up with Daniela "Seek Professional Help" Hantuchova, who burst into tears during her match at Wimbledon a few months ago when she started losing, and crying again yesterday when her match went into a tiebreak? There's no crying in tennis, unless you're announcing your retirement -- suck it up...There are seven Italian women in the Top 100, and only two Italian men (What happened to Andrea Gaudenzi? Taking a break to help former travel partner Thomas Muster with his comeback?)...Serena Williams, responding to interviewer Tracy Austin as to if there is a big void in the women's tournament with her and Venus being out: "I think there is a big void out there." More full of yourself?...Have to say Serena looks better back to the brunette as opposed to that strikingly-horrible blonde look...Jeff Tarango and Mashona "Mal's Little Sis" Washington, now that's a mixed doubles pairing, or how about Vince Spadea and Alexandra "Dr. A" Stevenson, that's a car crash...How disappointing for Lisa Raymond that she and Lindsay Davenport will have to pull from the year-end doubles championship now that Lindsay will have surgery after the Open?...Nice USA Network profile on James Blake last night, that got some girls wet, the lonely bachelor working the muscles in the weight room and modeling clothes, wishing he had a girlfriend, poor James...Venus says she wants to play another 10 years, and Serena says when she comes back she is going to be "stronger and angrier" -- like the Hulk? "Without us, it is a little dry," Serena said...Mark Philippoussis uses a racquet they stopped making six years ago...Kim Clijsters has now threatened to pull from the Fed Cup semis because the site was awarded to Russia instead of Belgium, nice dedication.