Agassi Rolls, Safin Wins, Slams Sister at Australian Open

Other seeded winners Wednesday were (10) Gaston Gaudio (d. the head-shaven Mardy "Silver" Fish after dropping the first set), (11) Joachim "The Jackhammer" Johansson (d. Peter "Captain, the Wadar Shows Two Approaching" Wessels), (13) Tommy Robredo (d. Zib in four), (20) Dominik "The Dominator" Hrbaty (d. Tipsarevic in four), (24) Feliciano "F-Lo" Lopez (d. Sargis "Sarge" Sargsian after dropping the first), the under-the-radar back-from-injury (28) Mario "Baby Goran" Ancic (d. Phau), (29) Taylor "Making a" Dent (d. Tabara), and (30) Thomas "Tommy the J." Johansson (d. Calleri in five).

"I'm not disappointed to lose to someone like that," Fish said after dropping the golden opportunity against Gaudio, who had a losing record on hardcourts in 2004. "I don't think I took a step back."

Three lower seeds were ousted Wednesday in former No. 2-ranked (16) Tommy Haas (l. to Beck, blowing a 2-0 set lead), (22) Ivan Ljubicic (l. to Marcos "Bombs Over" Baghdatis in four), and (27) Paradorn "The Thai Fighter" Srichaphan (l. to Nieminen).

Other un-seeds into the third round were American Kevin Kim (d. Guillermo "G-Lo" Garcia-Lopez), and Olivier "The Roach" Rochus (d. former No. 1 junior Gael "Force" Monfils, dropping only seven games).

Top-seeded Roger Federer led 2-0 sets over Takao Suzuki as of 7:18 a.m. (EST) Wendesday.

There were also two upsets in men's doubles, with the Austrian/German combo of Jurgen "Tuna" Melzer/Alexander Waske shocking top seeds Mark Knowles/Daniel Nestor in straight sets, and Chela/Sebastian Prieto defeating 2004 Masters Cup qualifiers (7) Gaston Etlis/Martin Rodriguez in an all-Argentine clash.

On tap for Thursday in Melbourne are (15) Youzhny vs. Rafael "The Prodigy" Nadal, Blake vs. (3) Hewitt, "Grinning Greg Rusedski vs. (2) Roddick, (6) Coria vs. Ricardo Mello "Yello", (7) Henman vs. Hanescu, Kohlschreiber vs. (18) Nicolas "The Golden Child" Massu, Santiago "Ace" Ventura vs. (9) Nalbandian, Zabaleta vs. (31) Ferrero, (14) Grosjean vs. Lisnard in an all-"Fraunch" dressing, Fernando "Hot Sauce" Verdasco vs. (12) Canas, (32) Jurgen "Tuna" Melzer vs. the Aussie hope Healey, Ginepri/Spadea vs. (2) Bryan brothers in an all-American doubles, (23) Fernando "Gonzo" Gonzalez vs. Andreev, Bobby Reynolds "Wrap" vs. (17) Pavel, Stepanek vs. Hernych in an all-blank-Czech, (25) Chela vs. Carraz, and Christophe "The Roach" Rochus vs. (26) Davydenko.

Sharapova, Mauresmo Escape Upsets, Four More Seeds Out at Australian Open

From the depths some competition surfaced Wednesday on the women's side in second-round play at the Australian Open, with No. 2 seed Amelie Mauresmo and No. 4 Maria Sharapova pushed to three sets before advancing into the third round.

Sharapova quickly found herself a set down against American mom Lindsay Lee-Waters, but rebounded with force for a 4-6, 6-0, 6-3 win.

"In the third set, we just fought for every single ball. In the end, it was just a matter of a few points. She played amazing in the first set," Sharapova said. "To have a child and then to be able to come back and be on the tour and play so well is amazing. It takes a lot of guts to get back out there. A lot of credit to her, for sure."

Mauresmo likewise had to come back from a set down after moving sluggishly to begin the match, but mowed down Russian Dinara Safina 2-6, 6-1, 6-0.

"My legs were not really moving very well and she played a very good first set," Mauresmo said after recovering to beat Marat's sister. "It was a tough one. I hope I'm going to get better and better."

Among the other seeded winners, No. 5 Svetlana Kuznetsova shrugged off the swirling doping allegations to give France's Marion Bartoli a 6-2, 6-0 swirly, joined by (7) Serena (d. Randriantefy, bagel in the second), (11) Nadia Petrova (d. Ferguson 6-1 in the third), (15) Silvia Farina Elia (d. Domachowska), (21) Amy "Joltin' Joe" Frazier (d. Denisa "Hanging" Chladkova in three), and (22) Maggie Maleeva (d. Jidkova).

Four seeds were uprooted in (9) Vera "The Crying Game" Zvonareva (l. to Russian countrywoman Douchevina), (17) Fabiola "The Fabulous One" Zuluaga (l. to Groenefeld), (28) Shinobu Asagoe (l. to China's Li), and (29) Gisela "Sgt." Dulko (l. to Diaz-Olivia in an all-Argentine).

Other un-seeds into the third round were Russian Evgenia Linetskaya (d. Martina "Nurse, I Need a" Sucha, bagel in the first), Indian wildcard Sania Mirza (d. Mandula), new Brit sensation Elena Baltacha (d. Cohen-Aloro 6-1 in the third), and hot-handed Serb Ana Ivanovic (d. Kirilenko, baking two breadsticks).

"I'm really delighted. I was so tired but I thought if you just keep fighting anything is possible," said the bespeckled Baltacha after her third-set triumph. "I'll have to change my flight now for the fifth time but I think I'll stick with economy."

Scheduled for play Thursday are Peng vs. (8) Venus, (10) Molik vs. Nakamura, (3) Myskina vs. Obziler, (18) Likhovtseva vs. Aussie Evie "The Dominator" Dominikovic, (1) Davenport vs. Pastikova, Klara "Kouky" Koukalova vs. (25) Raymond, Chakvetadze vs. (6) Dementieva in an all-Vodka-shot, (1) Petrova/Shaughnessy vs. Hantuchova/Navratilova, (12) Patty "Handshake" Schnyder vs. Michaella "Little Sis" Krajicek, Abigail "Hit Me Baby" Spears vs. (20) Tatiana "Hot Pants" Golovin, (26) Hantuchova vs. Barbara "Like I Give a" Schett, (27) Smashnova vs. Tanasugarn, Perebiynis vs. (14) Schiavone, Tatiana "The Pocket Baseliner" Panova vs. (23) Jankovic, the next-in-line teen sensation Vaidisova vs. (31) Kostanic, (19) Dechy vs. Mashona "Little Sis" Washington, and Garbin vs. (13) Karolina "The Spreminator" Sprem.

TENNIS-X NEWS, NOTES, QUOTES AND BARBS
The top four seeds plus Andre Agassi have all advanced without the loss of a set...Roger Federer had never played a Japanese player before Takao Suzuki, who ended Federer's service games held streak at 65. For those wondering how to beat Federer, Suzuki's chip-and-charge tactic gave him the service break...Lindsay Lee-Waters was reading pre-prepared instructions on a piece of paper during changeovers on what to do against Maria Sharapova. That worked for a set...How ugly are those Nike capri shorts that Feliciano Lopez and Rafael Nadal are wearing? Dare we say we hope they lose so we never have to see those again...Tony Roche had a strange evening Wednesday, first watching part-time client Sophie Ferguson melt down to Nadia Petrova, then watching new pupil Roger Federer play...With her win, wildcard entrant Sania Mirza became the first Indian female to ever reach a third round at a Grand Slam. For the effort, she'll play Serena on Friday...Did anyone see that shot Roger Federer hit around the net post to earn the break in the second set? The speed Federer showed just to get to the ball, then the quick flick to roll it down the line, sick...How crazy was the Melbourne weather Wednesday? (Chorus: How crazy?) The temps in the afternoon were in the mid 90s, then a front came through at 6:30 p.m. dropping it back into the 70s. Tomorrow the cool-down continues...If Andy Roddick beats Greg Rusedski and Jurgen Melzer wins his match, Roddick would face three lefties to reach the fourth round...On Wednesday Kevin Kim reached his first career Grand Slam third round, congrats to the former UCLA All-American...Wednesday losers Mardy Fish and Ivan Ljubicic still have never reached the second week of a Grand Slam...Joachim Johansson looking real dangerous and could present serious problems for either Andre Agassi or Roger Federer...Why are gold medal Chileans Nicolas "The Golden Child" Massu and Fernando "Gonzo" Gonzalez playing doubles with different partners this week in Melbourne?...After his second-round win Wednesday at the Australian Open, Marat Safin took the opportunity at his post-match conference to publicly hammer his younger sister Dinara, who was up a set before getting rolled 6-1, 6-0 by Amelie Mauresmo: "She has to make a lot of changes to be able to compete with all these kind of players, and to be able to do that, she needs to have a character and she needs to be a little bit of a grown-up woman. Of course, she is little bit young, and I know everything everybody is saying to her, 'She is still young, she has big future in front of her.' But I'm sorry, if you don't really understand yourself what's going on, it's a little bit difficult for somebody to fix it and explain it. Nobody's going to tell her what to do, she has to decide for herself, you know? It's my duty to help her, but if she doesn't want to listen...She has to grow up, be a little bit responsible for the things that she is doing and the decisions that she is taking. For some reason she cannot make any decisions; she needs somebody to explain her everything. It's a little bit sad to watch because I can see that she has great potential. She has a game, but she doesn't have this character like (Maria) Sharapova has and (Svetlana) Kuznetsova, (Elena) Dementieva, (Anastasia) Myskina, all the Russian girls. They're great players. What they are good at is that they have a character of fighters, of wanting to achieve something...There is no more charity for my sister. She has to learn the hard way. I think it's the way that everybody understands, I guess...It's just a little bit sad to see, to watch the train pass. And then she has to run away when I told her already 'Take this train, you know, like before it's gonna be too late.'" Getting a lesson from Marat in mental fortitude and not tanking, now there's an interesting concept...Serena Williams says the heat in Melbourne is nothing compared to Florida-hot: "I'm a firm believer that Florida is hotter in the summer than Australia. It's so hot in Florida and humid. People should try to commit suicide normally. Whew! It's just...this is lightweight compared to what it gets in Florida. It's crazy." Suicide humor, nice, don't quit your day job for those open-mike stand-up press conferences...And it just gets better: here's Serena's ego taking the mike, on being asked by people when she is finally going to win another slam: "People don't ask me that. People always assume that I'm No. 1, and I never correct them in any way. They always assume, you know, that I've won the last Grand Slam. I mean, except for the people that really watch, then they know. But other than that, people always assume that myself that I'm winning and that I'm No. 1. So, yeah, keep it like that. I think they think that (Venus and I are) 1 and 2. For them, it's like we've us being the Williams sisters together, we've kind of broken and opened so many doors. It was just amazing. So I think they look at it like they're really, I'm surprised that some people were excited to meet me. I'm like, 'I'm excited to meet you.' They're like, 'Are you sure?' I'm like, 'No, really, I love you.' For them, it's like an athlete is at the pinnacle of their game. There's no acting, no excuses, nothing going into it. It's all about talent and going out there and doing the best you can. For them, they really respect us in that aspect and it's really cool."...Irakli "Freak Show" Labadze has lost nine straight tour matches...Leander Paes has pulled from the men's and mixed doubles with an ankle injury...Last year's world No. 1s Mark Knowles/Daniel Nestor now have an 0-2 win-loss on the year after their opening-round upset in Melbourne...Nike has signed Gael "Force" Monfils to a contract worth more than $2 million, reports the Sports Business Journal...Rod Laver is missing this year's Australian Open because his wife Mary is seriously ill in the U.S., reports AAP. "This is obviously a very distressing time for Rod, Mary and their family and our thoughts are with them all," said Tennis Australia President Geoff Pollard. "I know Rod was very excited and honored when asked to present the men's singles trophy in our centenary year and we hope that Mary makes a strong recovery."...Is it true Juan Carlos Ferrero is dating Maria Sharapova? Well done J.C., you weathered a tough 2004, and are reaping the rewards...From today's New York Times: "All that huffing and puffing on Christmas Day helped Mardy Fish outlast one quick-footed, topspin-whipping Argentine baseliner in the second round of the Australian Open. But it could not get him past another, Gaston Gaudio, the French Open champion." Ouch, that was the first round Fish beat Argentine Juan Monaco, not the second, hope someone caught that before they printed a half-million copies...Belgian sports minister Claude Eerdekens says the WTA Tour is "rotten" for not following up on his allegation that Svetlana Kuznetsova tested positive for cough syrup in an exhibition match in December: "I'm flabbergasted to learn what they're claiming. We have completed our mission, but the WTA apparently doesn't even intend to study the Kuznetsova file. It's staggering. I'm under the impression there is something rotten at the highest level of the WTA, which should have every interest in collaborating in the fight against doping instead of giving the impression of doing the contrary."