Doha Big Money, Oh Kei: Tennis-X Funk/Trunk

Who’s Got the Funk…

1. Justine Henin
Passes on Doha big money to give tribute to last-time WTA event in Antwerp — and takes the title.

2. Kei Nishikori
Florida-based Japanese 18-year-old vaults to stardom after Delray Beach win. Too bad that with your ranking it’s back to the Challenger circuit.
ADHEREL
3. Andy Murray
Mop-headed Brit 1st player to win 2 titles this year. Now get your brother to stop slagging you in the press.

4. Nicolas Almagro
Reaffirms title as King of the Tiny Clay Events You Couldn’t Give a Rat About with the Costa do Sauipe championship.

5. WTA Doha
Shows that some bank can turn a Tier II event into one of the year’s top events, what a joke. The guarantee money is bigger than the total prize take.

…Who’s in the Trunk

5. Monica Seles
Thrills fans with talk of a comeback at Miami, but the fan favorite announces final retirement.

4. Roger Federer
A bad claycourt season and we could see a new No. 1 for the first time in — forever.

3. Nadia Petrova
Out of the Top 10 after 4 first-round losses in 5 events in 2008, this rock still dropping.

2. Novak Djokovic
Illness after Aussie Open win = losing Davis Cup, first-round tournament loss and tournament pull(s)…still, you won the Aussie Open. Quit bouncing the ball and serve it.

1. Blake/Bryans
All-American final at Delray Beach turns to all-American disaster as Blake, Bryans both drop finals, hurting already-bad win-loss stats in finals for both. Blake loss continues Delray No. 1 curse, where top seed has never won the event.

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